Is there someone out there who’s better for me? How do I know he/she/they are “the one” ?
We are constantly bombarded by the notion that we need to find “the one” for us. Think about how many social media platforms [Tinder, OKCupid, Match, Zoosk, Plenty of Fish… just to name a few] have been created for the sole purpose of connecting us on an intimate level. It’s hard not to experience FOMO [fear of missing out]. It’s scary to think about missing out on the perfect partner because we were too preoccupied with someone else.
It’s helpful to re-channel our energy. Instead of hyper focusing and feeding into your anxieties about finding “Mr./Mrs. Right”, concentrate on how you can become a better partner. Ask yourself this: “I am the type of partner that I’d like to one another. There’s nothing wrong with a “Netflix and Chill” session, but make sure that’s not all you do together.
How should we navigate social media?
Most millennials are on some form of social media. Facebook, Snap Chat, Instagram and Twitter, just to name a few, seem to dominate our lives. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, at least 24% of individuals think technology has a negative or less than positive impact on their relationships.
There is no specific formula for determining how to show your love on social media. You may never miss a #ManCrushMonday or #WomanCrushWednesday, but your partner hasn’t made a post about you since he changed his relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship”. That’s ok. That doesn’t mean they adore you any less.
Remember, people tend to present the best, or even glamorized versions of themselves on social media. Think about it…how many times have you been shoulder to cry on for a friend having relationship issues, only to find him or her have?”, and if the answer isn’t yes…perhaps it’s time to pivot. While we can’t always control who we meet, or who is interested in us, we can control ourselves.
How can I balance my career and my love life at the same time?
It can be funny, scary and perplexing to think about how different our lives are then other generations. Many of our parents were married with children, or at least had a baby on the way, by age 25. While I firmly insist on the legitimacy of my motherhood to my corgi, two cats, and bearded dragon, like many millennials, I have prioritized my career over the prospect of marriage and children right now. However, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t value the intimate relationships that co-occur with our budding careers.
The secret to balance is BOUNDARIES. Set them early, revisit them often, and stay true to them. Balance time spent building your career with time devoted to your significant other. Even though it may seem silly, carve out a set time for one another, and another set time for work, and stick to it. Make sure you spend time connecting – while disconnected: put down your phones, turn off the TV, and talk to one another. There’s nothing wrong with a “Netflix and Chill” session, but make sure that’s not all you do together.