What I Wish I Knew as a Counseling Graduate Student

Graduate school was a whirlwind experience, that, if I’m being honest, I was wildly unprepared for. As I entered my undergraduate senior year, I felt lost. I had no idea what my next steps would be. Many of my classmates had their first “real jobs” lined up already, while others were hastily working on graduate school applications. When I tried to seek guidance on what to do, I received mixed messages from nearly everyone I spoke to. I was going through the motions, preparing to graduate, with no real plan for the future.

After much inner turmoil, I decided to consult with my best friend, Sarah. On a tear filled phone conversation, detailing the uncertainty of my life, somehow I convinced myself to apply to the University of Baltimore. Looking back, I’m certainly glad a late night phone call led to the place I am today.

I’m writing this blog for anyone enrolled in a graduate program within the helping field. So, to all the soon-to-be therapists, counselors, and social workers out there… this one is for you.

  1. Find Mentors

There is a reason why this is my first of many points. Although I think of myself as a self-sufficient and precocious human, I also have no idea where I would be without the support and challenges that my most treasured mentor has presented me with. 

"Research shows that mentees generally perform better in their programs and after they get out of school" than students without mentors, says W. Brad Johnson, PhD, a psychology professor at the U.S. Naval Academy." Students tend to get tied into the mentor's network of colleagues, and that creates more open doors."

 There are different types of mentors who meet specific needs. Scott Mautz, reviews the different types of mentors, who in combination, can help unleash your true potential in an INC.com article":


1. The Path Blazer : “This type of mentor is an expert in your industry or chosen path and can dramatically shorten the learning curve for you. They share their "been there, done that" perspective and illuminate your category in ways that would take you years to see.”

2. The Sounding Board : “Anyone who has ever "bounced something off" someone knows it can sharpen thinking and generate confidence in or poke holes in ideas.”

3. The Success Magnet : “This mentor type serves as a role model for success as they've simply achieved so much. They do not have to be in your industry; in fact, it's better if they aren't so you get fresh perspective on the art and science of success in and of itself.”

4. The Campaigner : “The Campaigner is a dedicated advocate; they're a fan of yours and will speak on your behalf in the pursuit of new career or business opportunities. They're both a reference and referrer, connecting you to possibilities.

5. The Mirror Mentor : “This mentor type is someone you can count on to tell you like it is. They know you well, know your strengths and opportunities, your background, and your tendencies. They won't let you off the hook. They'll hold up a mirror to you, forcing you to see yourself as is and things for the way they really are. They will challenge you, insert healthy tension into your path, and serve as an accountability partner.”


In my experience, sometimes multiple mentor roles are filled by the same person. Similarly, the same mentor roll can be filled by various people. Each one supplies a unique gift that facilitates your growth.

2. Don’t Put Anyone on a Pedestal

This is easier said than done, especially in the role of someone just beginning their career. Even if you think your professor, mentor, or colleague is the greatest person that’s ever walked the earth, remember that they are still human.

“Even visualizing a physical pedestal illustrates what I’m getting at here. Imagine someone you deeply admire that you’d love to forge a connection with. Now imagine that instead of meeting and communicating with them on your level (which is their level, too — because we’re all human), you pick them up and place them on a pedestal so they’re towering over you. They never asked to be put there, but you felt like they deserved to be and took it upon yourself to make that decision for them.We need to create a safe space for people to be themselves, to stand tall in their authenticity, to form real connections, to mess up, to grow, to just BE without constantly projecting our own judgments and expectations onto them — and the only way we can do that is by leveling the playing field by reminding ourselves that we’re all just doing the best we can while we try to navigate this crazy, gnarly, beautiful human experience.”

Casey Von Iderstein

They may inspire you, teach you, and encompass all the things I mentioned in my previous point. However, if you spend enough time with someone, eventually you will realize that they can and will make mistakes or let you down. Human error is something that gets the best of everyone.

It’s also important to remember your own worth. There’s a limitless amount of potential within you waiting to be released.


3. Don’t be afraid to seek out uncharted territory

I remember how quickly my eagerness and enthusiasm turned to anxiety and despair when I began seeking my first practicum site. My university had supplied a list of potential internship sites. I began researching the potential sites and then called the ones that seemed fitting. I couldn’t tell you how many voicemails I left that went unreturned. Several organizations on the list seemed puzzled and even annoyed with my inquiry. Nevertheless, I eventually landed a few interviews, only to be crushed with the disappointment of not being selected. I cannot lie… I wallowed and sulked for a while. I allowed my anxiety to spiral and I thought of every worst-case-scenario outcome.  


 Then, one day I was scrolling through Instagram and followed a suggested account, Space_Between_Counseling . I liked the uplifting messages and Frida Kahlo quotes. I sent the owner, Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC, an email, asking if she’d ever consider taking on a practicum student. She agreed to meet me for coffee to get to know one another and discuss the possibility. I cannot remember the beginning of our conversation but I do remember the end. I was disclosing how disheartening the processing of finding an internship site had been and she asked something along the lines of, “You do realize I’m willing to take you on?”

It was a call into the darkness that was answered. Looking back, it’s always amazing to see those moments that ripple into changes that ultimately alter the entire course of your life. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone, or the safety of recommendations to find something much better.


4. You (probably) don’t need to take Your GPA so seriously

You are not a failure because you didn't score an A on your latest paper or project. Read that sentence again. If you’re similar to the student I was in graduate school, you probably are thinking “Yes…but…”. Stop it and soak this next part in.

While it definitely is important to study and absorb the information you are being taught, it’s still possible to be a very gifted therapist, even without the 4.0+ GPA. Your clients likely don’t care if you know about axons and dendrites, or the complete history of therapy since the days of Freud. What they do care about is if you care about them.

Obviously, if your future plans involve a career in academia, or a doctoral degree, you may want to keep hitting the books. Just remember to take time for the other things that are important, too.


5. It’s ok if your practicum/internship is different than your classmates

Many of the students in my cohort completed their practicum and internship opportunities at various agencies. They had full caseloads within the first few weeks. It took me nearly a month to see my first few clients. I found myself stuck in the comparison trap. My supervisor frequently reminded me to trust in the process. At the time, I remember thinking, “what the hell does that even mean?”

Nevertheless, instead of hyper focusing on the differences in experiences between my classmates and me, I learned how to work in private practice. I embraced marketing as a way to be creative and target my ideal clients. I learned to be productive independently while making space for deep reflection. I began networking with other clinicians and broadened my sources for additional knowledge and referrals.

Photo by  Drew Coffman  via Unsplash

Photo by Drew Coffman via Unsplash

Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
— Robert Frost

Guess what? I started getting clients. Not just any clients, but people from the populations I felt passionate about working with. Don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled.


 6. Go to Therapy

If you ask me (and many others), this should be a mandatory requirement for all people enrolled in programs geared towards helping professions. Having an established relationship with a therapist I both like and respect throughout graduate school and beyond was immeasurably important.

You’re about to become a support system, a secret holder, and symbol of safety for way more individuals than the average human should be. That’s some heavy shit. You need to have support in place for yourself, too.

Therapy for therapists holds all the benefits of therapy for non-therapists, and then some. You can work through trauma that may impact your work with clients. Perhaps you’ll discover some blind spots that need exploring. You can dump your weekly struggles and triumphs without tending to the other person’s needs for once. You can pick up some therapeutic interventions to utilize with your own clients. At the very least, it’s important for you to experience what it feels like for your clients to be sitting in that position.

According to Irvin Yalom, a gifted psychotherapist and author of several books on the topic, therapy allows all of us to work through our own “neurotic issues,” examine our blind spots, and learn to accept feedback. The therapist who is able to identify and work through these personal conflicts is far less likely to “act out” with their clients in ways that can potentially be destructive.
— Tyger Latham Psy.D.

7. Practice what you preach

Don’t ask a client to complete any task or exercise that you are not personally willing to do. Our well intentioned evidence-based interventions are not enough on their own. How can we expect our clients to go deeper than we are willing to go ourselves? We need to serve as an example to our clients.

According to Jennifer Hamady, “In order to share the wisdom of these lessons, we have to actually learn the lessons. We have to have ourselves transcended the obstacles, not merely recognize that they exist.” I’m weary of a therapist who has never been to therapy. I’m skeptical of someone who recommends an intermediate hot yoga class while they have never even stepped foot on a yoga mat.

I sincerely believe that one of the true markers of a good therapist is not only to follow your own advice but also to be passionate about the type of philosophical and therapeutic approach you choose to align yourself with.
— Deniz Sidali, M.A

8. Be quiet

It’s only natural that you’ll feel both nervous and excited to work with you first clients. You’ll be armed with text book knowledge and plans to drastically alter your client’s wellbeing. You’ll want to know everything about them and you’ll want to impart all of your baby-therapist wisdom onto them.

Here’s a pro tip… Shut up.

Only our clients are the experts on themselves. Let them talk. When you feel the desire to utilize self-disclosure, question the purpose. Utilize silence. You’ll be amazed what comes out of someone’s mouth if you create enough blank space for it to happen.

This principal expands beyond the therapy room. Take in what your professors are telling you. Listen to the people in your cohort during case consultations and class. While it may seem like their clients concerns don’t apply to you… they likely will one day. Hush and listen.

9. Avoid burnout & Practice Self-Care

This is something that everyone tells you in graduate school. I couldn’t tell you the amount of times I read about or heard about the importance of self-care. And yet, I found myself, along with arguably all the other members of my cohort (at least at some point) completely ignoring our needs. We were drowning in over-scheduled calendars, readings, papers and other assignments. At times, I ignored my basic human needs like sleeping and eating. I put myself at risk for burning out.

Burnout, a term first coined by Freudenberger (1975), has three components:

  1. Emotional exhaustion
  2. Depersonalization (loss of ones empathy, caring, and compassion)
  3. A decreased sense of accomplishment.

Burnout is the enemy of all therapists. Therefor it is essential that we participate in regular self-care to ward off this threat. Our self-care practices should not just encompass our survival needs like sleeping and eating, but also promote our emotional, physical, relational and spiritual wellness. Some ways that you can practice intentional self-care include:

  • Take regularly SCHEDULED breaks

  • engage in hobbies & interests unrealted to work

  • Attend routine doctor & therapy appointments

  • practice saying “no” when you don’t want to do something

  • engage in exercise activities that you enjoy

  • eat nutrient-rich meals

  • intentionally plan blank space / white space

  • attend to your spiritual/religious practice

  • spend time with family & friends

  • Take vacations & leave work at home

When you intentionally engage in self-care activities, you enable yourself to accomplish your goals with greater ease and better serve your clients. Additionally, self-care practices serve as a method to decrease your Allostatic Load, which may lessen physical and mental health concerns throughout your lifetime.


10. Remember Your Worth

Your time, energy, and passion hold great value. Remember that. Respect yourself enough to let go of people that refuse to acknowledge your worth. Remind yourself that you do not need to chase every shiny object or opportunity that comes your way, because there will be others.

“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.”
— Thelma Davis

Hopefully these 10 tips will prove to be helpful as you navigate your own graduate school experience. I’d love to hear from you in the comments if there’s anything you think that I missed.

Meet the Author: Noelle Benach, LGPC


Noelle, LGPC, works with individuals and premarital / pre-commitment couples as they muck through the challenges of modern day relationships, stressors, and challenges. She is particularly passionate about working with other helping professionals, college & masters level students, members of the LGBTQIAP+ community, young adults, new parents, creatives and professional caretakers.

When Noelle is not in the office, you can likely find her strolling through local festivals & events, sipping coffee at one of Baltimore's many delightful cafés, traveling and tasting new foods, spending time outdoors with her fiancé and their corgi and two cats, or listening to the latest episode of her favorite true crime podcast.

Feeling “Othered” in a Heteronormative World

Feeling “Othered” in a Heteronormative World

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, heteronormativity is defined as “Of, relating to, or based on the attitude that heterosexuality is the only normal and natural expression of sexuality”.  Essentially, I’m talking about straight culture. Now, you may be thinking something along the lines of… “But gay people are totally accepted these days”. It’s true that progress has been made. However, there’s a difference between “acceptance” and real visibility. Heteronormativity touches far more aspects of our lives than simply marriage. I think that most people, myself included, make well-intentioned, yet ignorant assumptions based on the heteronormative society we live in.

The Road to Worthiness is Paved with Imperfection

The Road to Worthiness is Paved with Imperfection

In the moments when we most need a little tenderness we quickly become our own worst enemies. Instead of recognizing and acknowledging our inherent goodness, we turn our words into weapons with messages of failure and defeat. 

Wouldn’t it be incredible if we could instead treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we so readily show others? In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, leading researcher and storyteller Brené Brown examines what gets in the way of accepting ourselves as we are and living from a place of authenticity, gratitude, and whole-heartedness.  

Beyond Fight or Flight

Beyond Fight or Flight

Fight or Flight. You’ve probably heard this expression countless times.  However, there’s more to our defensive responses than we previously believed.  There’s actually four ways that we respond to situations that we perceive as harmful: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn.

Laying Down the Burdens of an Over-Functionalist

Defining Over-fucntionalists

Do you find yourself being the pillar of strength that family, friends, and even romantic partners commonly depend on? From the viewpoints of other’s, you appear to have it all together. Unknowingly, you’ve found yourself in the role of upholding the expectations of others. If this sounds familiar, you may be finding yourself in the role of the “over-functionalist.

Those in this role may be a direct source for advice, financial support, or take on 100% of the responsibility for their lives and others. Many often refer to you as the one; the educated one, the strong one, the responsible one, the caring one, and the list goes on. And for some odd reason, you have inadvertently accepted this role and cultivated your life around it. 


Often, you’re in situations thatleave you feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Complaining of the demanding nature this role requires is never an option, for fear of making others feel your frequent discomfort. Not many people check on“THE ONE” in their lives, and these individuals tend to suffer in silence. For those who feel as though you’re barring the weight of the world with minimal understanding, know that you are not alone. A difference can be made, and the weight can be lifted, but it starts with you.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
— Maya Angelou

Recognizing When to Ask for Help

Asking for help can be perceived by some as a sign of weakness or an inability to simply manage. For those who identify themselves as the over-functionalist, seeking assistance appears much harder, often because of projection that others will not be able to manage stressors as you do. After all, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed so long as others don’t; right? This is an internal battle that many suffer in silence daily.

Stress is an inevitable part of life however too much can negatively impact one’s emotional and physical capacity to function. Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness. In fact, asking for help shows a high level of self-awareness and insight to recognize that additional support is needed. There are other factors that impact one’s ability to seek help, such as cultural worldviews. For instance, some cultures view the family system as a fully functioning entity to deal with all its member’s needs.Therefore, the frequency or knowledge of outsourcing is not a skill some are versed in. Other factors include past experiences and how readily available help was made.

Photo by  Allie Smith  via Unsplash

Photo by Allie Smith via Unsplash


Lisa Ferentz LCSW-C, DAPA (2017) suggests the following questions be considered for those struggling to ask for help:

  • While you were growing up what kind of messages did you get about asking for help?

  • Did your family place more value on “doing it yourself” or “letting others in?”

  • When you did attempt to reach out in childhood, how did the people in your life respond?

Help comes in many forms, identify which type of help best benefits you. Pay attention to mental and physical signs that you’re becoming overwhelmed. Recognizing when your load is too heavy shows positive insight.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, stress affects your entire body, mentally as well as physically. Some common signs include:


trouble sleepinG

jaw pain

Changes in appetite

mood swings

difficulty concentrating


Photo by  Kinga Chichewicz  via Unsplash

Photo by Kinga Chichewicz via Unsplash

The Benefits of Self Care

Many of us have heard the importance of self-care, but does the idea of achieving it seems near impossible? For the overly busy, stressed, and the overwhelmed person managing all of life’s obstacles including that of others, self-care is typically a missing element in day-to-day life. Before self-care can be obtained one must first understand what it is.

The essence of self-care is paying attention to YOUR wants and needs on an emotional, mental, and physical level. Placing yourself as a top priority and ensuring you’re cared for is not egotistic in any fashion. For over-functionalist, this can be a difficult mindset to uphold because thinking of self is such a farfetched idea. Feelings such as guilt tend to arise when others are not at the top of your priority list. Implementing self-care minimizes the occurrences of burnout and fatigue. How do I manage self-care? That’s the beauty, it’s based on YOUR needs. Self- care does not have to be a grandiose event or a huge time consumer. Maria Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W (2018) identified 10 regulatory activities to help exercise self-care in her article for Psychology Today titled, Self Care 101:

1- Self-care means knowing who you are and your limits. Self-care means recognizing when you are doing more than you are used to handling and trying to figure out what can be done to slow down.

2- Self-care means getting the sleep you need and knowing how to rest. Are you getting enough sleep for you? Do you know how much sleep you require everyday and are you sleeping at least that much?

Photo by  Magalie De Preux  via Unsplash

Photo by Magalie De Preux via Unsplash

3- Self-care means making sure that you're well fed. Do you eat well—does what you eat provide the energy you need to function?

4 -Self-care means finding a way to decompress throughout your day, not just when you leave work. What is it you do to rest your mind during and after a workday? What helps you tune out the noise?

5- Self-care means giving some thought to changing a difficult work situation. We know best what we need and what we can deal with. Is there anything that can be done to make your work somewhat less stressful? Think about whether changes can be made to your work environment.

6- Self-care means taking time to get to know you better. Self-care means learning to recognize your own temperament and trying to prepare for your personal limits. For example, do you have the trait of "high sensitivity? and if so, learning to recognize when you are experiencing sensory overload.

Photo by  Rifqui Ali Ridho  via Unsplash

Photo by Rifqui Ali Ridho via Unsplash

7- Self-care means identifying what you enjoy doing and what's fun for you and make a serious effort to integrate it into your day or, at the very least, your week. Make it a habit to plan something to look forward to every day and that doesn't have to be complicated.

8- Self-care means knowing how to debrief from a day's work. That might mean walking home from work to clear your head, driving in silence or listening to music to help transition from work to home.

9- Self-care means feeding your spiritual self. That might take the form of meditating, praying, communing with nature by a walk in a park, observing a sunset or sunrise, attending a religious service, practicing gratitude, reading or listening to something inspirational.

10- And finally, self-care means taking time to love yourself and appreciating that there's only one you and you're the expert on that.

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival
— Audre Lorde

Implementing Balance and Change

The route of change for an over-functionalist may not initially be easy, yet it is possible. A helpful first step is to hold others accountable and increase their responsibilities. What does this look like? It may mean not rescuing a family member or friend for the 20th time, not voicing all your opinions, and allowing them to fully manage the consequences of their actions. Engaging in therapy can be a helpful tool to overcome personal feelings of guilt and to develop healthy communication skills. More than anything, establishing new boundaries and sticking with them will be key.

Meet the author: Brittany Spencer, LGPC


Brittany Spencer, LGPC, is a therapist at Space Between Counseling Services. Brittany works with clients in the Charm City area as they manage stress, grief, LGBTQIA+ related concerns, and more.

Brittany’s integrative therapeutic approach has allowed her to interact with the young and older adult population to increase self-awareness, educate about community-based resources, and strengthen coping skills. Within a safe and compassionate environment Brittany strives to increase the autonomy of her clients.

While not working to evolve her counseling skills, Brittany enjoys outdoor activities. As summer approaches, she enjoys 5k races, bonfires, and community festivals.  She loves attending WNBA basketball games, bicycling, and watching America Ninja Warrior with her fiancé.

A Holistic Approach to Healing

To suffer is the most human of conditions, but so too is to heal.
— Chani Nicholas

The healing journey is far from linear and it is also far from uniform. Every person has their own winding set of experiences, responding to emotions as they emerge and doing the best they can along the way.

Therapy can be invaluable in this work, and it can be supportive to tap into the body’s wisdom in other ways as well. In this blog post, we will explore a variety of holistic approaches that inspire full-body wellbeing.

Photo by  Emma Simpson  via Unsplash

Photo by Emma Simpson via Unsplash


Stemming from the practice of Chinese Medicine and developed over thousands of years, acupuncture supports balance in the mind, body and spirit. Perhaps you’re having a difficult time sleeping and are waking up at the same time every night or maybe your appetite has been off. Acupuncture could be a supportive treatment for you. Amongst other things, acupuncture can be supportive if you are experiencing anxiety or depression.

You can learn more about what to expect from an acupuncture treatment through the Maryland University of Integrative Health. Want to try it out? Mend offers affordable community acupuncture in Remington and at Quarry Lake. Additionally, Maryland Community Acupuncture in Patterson Park offers sessions for as low as $20.00.

Sometimes with the most painful of processes all we can do is learn how to be with it, refusing to leave ourselves because of it.
— Chani Nicholas
Photo by  William Farlow  via Unsplash

Photo by William Farlow via Unsplash

Naturopathic Care

Naturopathic medicine is built around six principles:

  • the healing power of nature

  • identify and treat the causes

  • first do no harm

  • doctor as teacher

  • treat the whole person

  • prevention

Photo by  JWlez  via Unsplash

Photo by JWlez via Unsplash


This modality of care is centuries old and practitioners are trained in physical manipulation, clinical nutrition, botanical medicine, homeopathy and hydrotherapy.

If you are wondering how to support your mental health while using your body as a starting place, naturopathic care is a potential modality to explore.

Dr. Emily Telfair, ND of HeartSpace Natural Medicine is a local resource for patients who are ready to open this door of their healing journey. In her words, she offers “support with connecting the dots between your physical symptoms and how they relate to your life experiences”.

Here in this body are the sacred rivers: here are the sun and moon as well as all the pilgrimage places...I have not encountered another temple as blissful as my own body.
— Saraha


Photo by  Vero Photoart  via Unsplash

Photo by Vero Photoart via Unsplash

In many ways, herbalism invites you to “stop and smell the roses” (or lavender, or raspberry, or that plant poking up between the sidewalk cracks you always thought was ‘just a weed’). The earth is bursting with plant allies if you know where to look. As you begin this journey, Zensations is the perfect first stop.  


Photo by  Christin Hume  via Unsplash

Photo by Christin Hume via Unsplash

Bodywork can take many shapes: traditional massage, craniosacral therapy, and nervous system regulation (amongst others).

Are you curious about what your body has to say about what you’ve been feeling and experiencing? Ladan Nabet and Metta Integrative Wellness Center are supportive Baltimore resources when it comes to unpacking your body’s voice.

There is deep wisdom within our very flesh, if only we can come to our senses and feel it.
— Elizabeth A. Behnke

This blog is intended to serve simply as a snippet if what holistic healing may entail; there is truly no end to the healing work that can be supported by each of these modalities. As you review the modalities discussed, ask yourself…

What have been your doors to healing?

Which doors are presenting themselves to you now?


Meet Erin

Erin Bowman is one of Space Between Counseling Services’ newest graduate interns.  Upon her Graduation from the University of Baltimore’s counseling psychology Master’s program in 2020, Erin plans to seek licensure as a LCPC.

Erin is also a cyclist and enjoys exploring Baltimore’s parks by bike. When she’s not riding through the city, she can also be found reading science fiction and getting lost in bookstores.

Tidying Up (Part II) - Tidying Up Your Relationships

Tidying Up (Part II) - Tidying Up Your Relationships

In this second part of of our two-blog series inspired by the teachings of Marie Kondo, we will apply the KonMari method through simple activities designed to help you better tidy up your relationships. We hope this blog will inspire the courage and intention you need in order to facilitate nourishing relationships into your life.

Tidying Up (Part I) - Tidying Up Your Life

Tidying Up (Part I) - Tidying Up Your Life

In Marie’s book, tidying up refers to applying a set of principles to de-clutter your home. However, in this two-part blog series we’re going to talk tidying up your life (Part 1) and your relationships (Part 2) by applying principles based upon Marie’s method. 

Tuning into Self-Care in Winter

Tuning into Self-Care in Winter

In the winter, people are often more drawn to staying in and staying cozy--replacing late nights with a turn inwards. Beyond hygge, winter also often brings the blues. The sun is setting earlier and the air is biting cold. On a physiological level, our bodies are struggling with the lack of daylight. On an emotional level, you may not be feeling quite yourself. February has the echoes of family pressure from the holidays, along with cycles of frustration brought on by New Year’s resolutions. We find ourselves in need of balance and care.