Baltimore

Tuning into Self-Care in Winter

Tuning into Self-Care in Winter

In the winter, people are often more drawn to staying in and staying cozy--replacing late nights with a turn inwards. Beyond hygge, winter also often brings the blues. The sun is setting earlier and the air is biting cold. On a physiological level, our bodies are struggling with the lack of daylight. On an emotional level, you may not be feeling quite yourself. February has the echoes of family pressure from the holidays, along with cycles of frustration brought on by New Year’s resolutions. We find ourselves in need of balance and care.

Are You Feeling The Weight of Allostatic Load?

Are You Feeling The Weight of Allostatic Load?

Allostatic load refers to the “wear and tear on the body” that accumulates when we are exposed to repeated or chronic stressors.  These stressors can be internal, external or both. 

SOME EXAMPLES OF INTERNAL STRESSORS INCLUDE:

  •      Illness

  •      Fear

  •      Poor Nutrition

  •      Physical Strain

  •      Hypertension

  •      Lack of Sleep

  •      Autoimmune Diseases

  •      FOMO (fear of missing out)

SOME EXAMPLES OF EXTERNAL STRESSORS INCLUDE:

  •       Life Changes

  •       Bills

  •       Job / Work Related Issues

  •       Pollution

  •       Relationship Issues

  •       Screen Time

  •       Anxiety

  •       Depression

You’re a Black Unicorn, Not a Black Sheep

You’re a Black Unicorn, Not a Black Sheep

Have you ever labeled yourself as the “black sheep” or “scapegoat” of your family, your workplace, or somewhere else where you’re “supposed” to naturally belong?

In my office, so many of my clients use this phrase to describe themselves. (And, I admit, I’ve used it myself to talk about whether I felt I fit into various groups too.) There’s something I find when we look closer at how and why we use these terms, however, and it has a lot to do with shame and how we feel we’re being judged by other people.

In my office, I often ask: What if you weren’t a black sheep? What if you were a black unicorn? Or a yellow, blue, or rainbow unicorn?


Your Coupleship: Year in Review 2017

Your Coupleship: Year in Review 2017

Coupleship: Year in Review 2017

Why would you and your partner want to do a “Year In Review”? This series of check in questions is designed to help you two invite structure, flow, play and connection into 2018.

After the wrapping paper is cleared away, but before you pull out the new year's noisemakers, I hope that you can make time for each other. Just being together and enjoying each other is great, but I have an invitation for you that will help make you stronger in the year to come...

In this space between the holidays as one year ends and another begins, I'd love to know that you’re strengthening your "coupleship bubble." Maybe you want to think of it as creating your own private snow globe where you sit together in the swirl of your past and present and plan out your future.

Season of Feelings

Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC is a Relationship Therapist and founder Space Between Counseling Services in Baltimore City, Maryland.   Susan works with Type A’s ---> Creatives as they balance schedules, stress, and the modern challenges of coupleship.  Specializing in counseling for individuals and couples using Stan Tatkin’s PACT approach, Susan helps you move through the muck of life and into a life of purpose and connection.

Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC is a Relationship Therapist and founder Space Between Counseling Services in Baltimore City, Maryland. 

Susan works with Type A’s ---> Creatives as they balance schedules, stress, and the modern challenges of coupleship.

Specializing in counseling for individuals and couples using Stan Tatkin’s PACT approach, Susan helps you move through the muck of life and into a life of purpose and connection.

It’s that time of year again. Holidays are in clear sight in all areas of life.   

It’s that time of year again. Holidays are in clear sight in all areas of life.
 

I get that this time of year is hard on many people.
Due to traumatic events, difficult family and/or events linked to this season - many people feel less than { Deep Gratitude, Joyful & Happy } in the days between November --> January.

#Holidays are a rough time of year for many people due to one reason or another.

So, what can we do it about it? Jaime Stacks @jamielstacks has a one formula to stop this “crazy train” that speeds through the holidays for some of us.

It starts with setting your intentions.

Using intentions {PLUS} the therapeutic idea of "Re-Storying" we can alter our current experiences in this “NOW” space of the season compared to the “THEN” space of previous sadness, harm and voids of previous seasons.

 

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{F I V E}  Mindfulness tips to jump-start your Holiday Self-Care}
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[ONE] Set intentions every morning
[TWO] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for yourself
[THREE] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for loved ones -- family + friends and mentors
[FOUR] Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
[FIVE] Gratitude Journal




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Photo by Estée Janssens on @Unsplash
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What does a "Foxhole" have to do with Couples Work?

Partners can be helped immensely by having an "owners manual" for each other and their relationship.

Does your relationship have one in place? 


Part of that "owners manual" or being an "expert on your partner" can be created by using the principles in the Couple Bubble by Dr. Stan Tatkin. 


It's like being in a "fox hole" together and having each others back consistently both privately and publicly.

Does your partner have YOUR back and YOU, theirs?

Are you struggling within your couple bubble❓

OR

Maybe you two need help forming YOUR couple bubble❓

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Need Repair?

Stressed? Find your pattern. Find your lesson.
 
 

A good way of recognizing patterns in your life is by listening to your feelings, your intuition. 
I’ve found that when I am involved in a pattern, my emotions run a bit stronger, kind of like a warning from my subconscious mind to pay attention to what’s happening.
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Many moons ago, as a young adult, pre-therapy, pre-mediation, pre-tuning in:: More often than not, I recognize the pattern (life lesson) when the situation had ended, or changed. 
Hindsight is 20/20 in this way. It can be difficult to recognize a pattern while it’s playing out. This still happens to me in present life. However, I have learned to better pay attention to MY patterns. 
Reflecting helps this. Awareness helps this. Time helps this. Being surrounded by caring and compassionate loved ones, family, and friends helps this.
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In life there will be continuous patterns and lessons sent our way. If we are aware and tuned in, we will learn to overcome our patterns and learn our individual lessons.
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The key is to be alert. When you’re open to recognizing a pattern, you can change it by learning the lesson, and in doing so, change your life. Equaling: less repeat and more JOY & Awareness.

You always have a choice.

Therapy provides a space to till YOUR soil. 

Everything you are feeling OR experiencing is rooted somewhere. Together, in therapy we prep YOUR garden for YOUR growth.


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We are what we are because we have been what we have been, and what is needed for solving the problems of human life and motives is not moral estimates but more knowledge.
— Sigmund Freud

Are your habits empowering you -OR- are they getting you in trouble?

Habits: our manner in which we do something, our routines and/or customs. 

How do your habits guide you? 
Inspire you? 
Limit you?

 

You cannot change your future. But you can change your habits and surely your habits will change your future.”
— A.P.J. Abdul Kalam